Why Gay Marriage is Impossible

Marriage is intrinsically linked to sex so it is important that one has a good grasp of the role of sexual intercourse before one can delve into the topic of same-sex marriage.

At the most fundamental level, a gay marriage is impossible because the same-sex couple can never consummate their marriage; they can never become one flesh (or unify). Also, the combination of their sexual organs can never produce children; they only have half the parts necessary but doubled.

It is not to say that gay people are incapable of loving each other in the same fashion as anyone else or that they cannot care for their partner and stay as committed as anyone else if not better. A homosexual union is intrinsically impossible because they cannot unify.

Sexual intercourse is the sign of marriage and the act of sexual intercourse is the renewal of the covenant of marriage so two same-sex people can never complete their marriage.

For this reason it is intrinsically impossible for two people of the same sex to marry. It is not discriminatory, it is not homophobia, and it is not
hatred of gay people. The marital act can simply never occur between two people of the same gender.

This is not to say that homosexual people are any less of a person than heterosexuals. All people, regardless of age, color, race, sexual orientation, religion, etc. are equal in dignity.

As a member of God’s creation each person should be given the due respect that a person deserves because in the eyes of the Lord we are not separated by age, color, race, or sexual orientation (Cf. Gal. 3:28). Each person may not be equal in all abilities, but we are equal in dignity.


  1. Tom says

    So this brings up a question. If the whole issue of gays not being able to marry centers around the inability to consummate the marriage through intercourse where would this leave an otherwise heterosexual couple who are unable to have intercourse due to some birth defect or possibly an accident which occurred prior to the marriage? Would the great and wonderful Catholic Church condemn them also?

  2. Eduardo says

    Catholics have issues and guilt. Find me a Catholic who has not masturbated or had sex purely for pleasure. Yes, if man defines marriage requiring consummation then gay people cannot consummate. But God and Jesus did not create marriage. Man and his church did. Rather a faithful gay couple than a philandering and promiscuous straight one. Where you put your private parts does not determine whether you are a good person. If your God can’t see that then get a new one.

  3. Jim Deferio says

    Freedom to marry? Yes, “homosexual” men have the freedom to marry a “lesbian” and vice versa. However, no one has the freedom or the ability to do that which is impossible to do. It is IMPOSSIBLE for two of the same sex to be organically united as two complimentary halves into one organic whole. Thus, same sex marriage is IMPOSSIBLE. It is a counterfeit – a fake marriage. REAL marriage is always between a male and a female.

    I personally know numerous EX-homosexuals. No one is “born homosexual”. Homosexuality denies biology and it is a mental disorder.

    • Ken Becht says

      Homosexuality is an abomination unto the Lord. It is dealt with in the O.T. & the N.T. People are not born homosexual. It is a sinful choice they make. We have become a nation of cowards in not standing up for God’s word. He will not be mocked.

  4. Patrick Young says

    God is love and some of God’s children are homosexuals. I have known many same-sex couples who express the same love and devotion that my late wife and I shared during our 20 year long marriage. I don’t think that our mother church should reject her children for loving one another and cast them out from this important sacrament. My own Catholic marriage helped to make my relationship with my beloved wife Cecilia sacred, and our church should embrace all loving couples.

    • Fede says

      GOD DOES NOT CONDONE GAY MARRIAGES! He clearly states it is an abomination, and he destroyed Sodom and Gorrmorhea and did not allow even children to escape!! The Sovereign Creator does not bless what deems blasphemous and an abominable!! It is lowly and detestable to our creator to see men or women in an unholy bonding.

  5. Victoria says

    Homosexual orientation is normal and natural for certain people. And if gay married couples choose, they may adopt children. I believe that the Church is the people. And we as progressive, Roman Catholics need to speak up for equal rights, love and dignity for all persons.

    • E. F. says

      That is heresy and absolute spiritual rot. Being “progressive” – what does that mean? That YOU can make decisions against God’s will? Homosexual orientation is NOT natural. It is from our fallen nature, initiated from Original Sin. Same sex attraction in itself is not necessarily a sin, unless homosexual persons engage in or give their desire to homosexual acts. That is a grave sin, and sin of great depravity (read your Catechism if you don’t believe me). If you don’t believe what the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, then you are not a practicing Catholic. Dr. Scott Hahn calls that “cafeteria Catholicism” – thinking you can pick and choose what you want to believe. That is the definition of heresy. You need to open your heart to better formation, or you become complicit in others’ sins – which is also a mortal sin.

      • Patrick Young says

        Always love the woefully ignorant heresy hunters. They wish they could be burning witches again.

        • Quo Primum says

          Nice Ad Hominem. The fact remains, however, that Sodomy is one of the Four Sins that Cry to Heaven for Vengeance. And talking of “burning witches,” Pope St. Pius V – a papal supersaint if ever there was one – was a heresy hunter of the highest order, and he ordered sodomites in the Papal States to be put to death. That’s the Catholic position on this subject, sir. Take it or leave it for your Modernist heresies. But if you leave it, you have no hope of salvation.

        • Ken Becht says

          I can call myself a tree but it doesn’t make me a tree. Christ would tell a homosexual to repent and SIN more. The fact you are a homosexual apologist speaks volumes about your relationship with Jesus Christ…or lack thereof.

    • Ignati de Leenheer says

      Thanks Victoria for your answer. Forget wat E.F. says, he or she still has to wake up, we live in 2016. The Holy Ghost inspires us for an inclusive Catholicism.

  6. Mike says

    Thank God the Catholic Church is standing strong on this issue and not giving in to the societal pressures to condone error and sin. There is no such thing as homosexual marriage. You don’t even need to be religious to see that – it’s evident in how men and women are created.

    Man and woman come together and create life. Homosexual unions cannot produce life. No amount of political correctness can change the facts of how God created us.

  7. Melissa says

    God has told us repeatedly that homosexuality is wrong..in the old testament it was considered an abomination..in the new testament it is classified with adultery, murder, backbiters, liars, etc..all sins, none of which are greater than the other..sin is sin in Gods eyes..no place un the scripture does God tell us there are sins, the mortal sins..the only sin that can’t be forgiven, however, is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit..you either believe and obey what the Bible, which was given to us by God, not Catholics, or some man, says or you don’t..if you love God, you will keep His commandments
    .as He has stated..right is right..wrong is wrong..

    • FRANK AMISANO says

      2 people can be gay and love each other. Like Jesus said. Love one another as I love you. So to gays can live together but not have so called sex with each other. Then there is no sin committed.

      • melissa says

        God knows your heart, your every thought..living together as a married couple without marriage is wrong…God condemns homosexuality..yes, we are to love each other as God loves us..which is why I implore you to search the whole Bible, not picking out verses to suit yourself ..that lifestyle is wrong in God’s eyes. As is fornication, adultery, murder, liars, greed, proud, haughtiness, etc..its all in the Scriptures…God wants us happy, but He also wants us to seek Him first…sometimes that means sacrifices if worldly lusts… but if we truly love Him, we will keep His commandments..

  8. Josephine says

    So, What if your manly parts get chopped off somehow and you aren’t able to have intercourse? Are you not supposed to get married then? Also, what if you get married but don’t want to have kids? Is that a sin? These are just a few questions I was wondering about. I really do appreciate this article and think it explains marriage very well.

    • AnnInFL says

      Openness to life (welcoming the gift of children) is required for a sacramentally valid marriage. Yes, to use artificial contraception to avoid pregnancy is a sin.

      If you lack the ability to have intercourse, and thereby consummate the marriage, you also cannot be married.

  9. C.D.Carney says

    Coming from a position that my generation does not seek holy matrimony anymore but a temporary hookup legitimized by a ceremony with all the trappings, I have always been interested in the church’s reason for denying gay marriage. I know, it’s not supposed to be the church’s denial as it’s just not possible via God’s law. If I don’t like that 2+2=4 I can choose to deny it but that doesn’t make it any less true. But that’s just according to the Catholic church and they don’t have to believe in its dogma or join it. I think it’s sad so many gays think they have to reject God in any form because they think God rejects them. I think we all make choices to refuse our inner nature all the time. Some people have revenge on their minds and hatred in their hearts but they deny their satisfaction for a higher purpose. Others might just be lustful in their hearts but to God it’s all the same sin. Anyone can ask for forgiveness. If God is a perfect being with a perfect plan that is simply obfuscated by our mortal minds then there must be a purpose to all things, even terrible things and agony being visited upon the good. Having faith means trusting in Him, even though we can’t understand it all, all the time. And before I get the complain from a gay marriage proponent who feels the pain of rejection, we all feel a pain of some sort. Some more physical than others…

  10. Jack says

    This is what I simply don’t understand: Doesn’t this argument mean that heterosexual couples that biologically can’t produce children (or maybe even simply don’t want to) shouldn’t be allowed to get married either?

  11. Nikki says

    I am a Catholic, and this article is the most absurd definition of why gay marriage shouldn’t exist. There are plenty of straight, Catholic people who chose not to have sex or who cannot conceive, does this mean their marriages are impossible?
    I would like to know the actual reason with evidence from the Bible as to why same-sex marriage is impossible.
    Also of note, I am a bisexual Catholic.

    • Geoff Hodge says

      Requiring biblical evidence to validate your beliefs is not Catholic. That is Sola Scriptura, which is Protestant in origin. Your biblical evidence is the words of Jesus in Matthew 19;4-5

      4 Who answering, said to them: Have ye not read that he who made man from the beginning made them male and female? And he said:
      5 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave to his wife: and they two shall be in one flesh.

      The Church teaches that any sexual act that is closed to life, meaning it doesn’t allow the chance of pregnancy, is a mortal sin. ThIs would include use of contraceptives, withdrawal, masturbation, and gay sex (where creating a child is impossible). Look in the Catechism 2370.
      A couple that is sterile still has the possibility of life. Nothing is impossible for God.

    • Ken Becht says

      Your bisexual lifestyle mocks God. Have you actually EVER read the Bible? Most Catholics haven’t. Homosexuality is an abomination, period. It’s clear in the O.T. & N.T. First you need to understand it’s a sin. Then repent, cease what you are doing and seek the mind of Christ. If you are believe Christ condones Sodomy then you really need to be in prayer..A whole lot of prayer.

  12. ChrisfromWisc says

    When Catholic leaders try to focus on the “definition of marriage,” we rarely hear this. We hear a lot of slogans with “One Man-One Woman” but we rarely get to the nitty gritty. A homosexual sex act does not fit the definition of “consummation” – it is physically impossible. Therefore homosexual couples will never be able to be married in the Catholic church “by definition.”

    • Zachary says

      I can’t speak much for gay Catholics but comments made by folks like Robert below you claiming we gay folks are incapable of “real love” does remind me of why I am an ex Catholic. Initially, I tried to reconcile and even remained chaste (have never been with a guy to this day, though not against it now) but guys like Robert and numerous. Why Catholics feel the need to use lies and obfuscation to make their point and not simply stick to their interpretation of Scripture I will never understand. Don’t they realize that they are driving people like me further away then I already am and shooting their supposed infallibility claim in the foot? How much can a Church that doesn’t even care to understand my perspective really “love” me? Their insistence on using the junk science of Nicolosi speaks volumes about the character of the modern Church (and probably the past Church too, if we are being honest). I don’t even fully disagree with this article since, by the Catholic view, marriage between two men really is impossible due to not being able to have kids – I get that and that is fine. I may not agree with it but I can at least respect it from a purely dogmatic perspective.

      The attempts to schism my deep, romantic feelings and drives towards other men from me and make me ashamed of what I am backfired and tend to backfire in the gay community (after all, if God feels I am disgusting and my yearning to cuddle up to other men makes Him angry, why on earth would I want to spend eternity with this being? I am in hell either way and, thus, the power such threats may have had is lost). Doubly unfortunate is the fact that the average Catholics approach to this reasoning is to try and convince me that I wasn’t born this way but was warped, assuming things about me that are falsehood.

      How can we trust a people and a church who we know actively lies about us?

      • Ken Becht says

        You can try and justify your Homosexuality and Sodomy as acceptable. That Is what sinners do. If you have a problem with those saying Homosexuality is an abomination. ..take it up with God. He detests it and has said so in the O.T. & N.T. Admit you have a serious problem in this area and ask God’s forgiveness and strength to live the life he wants for you.

  13. Robert Lattin says

    Nice article, however you failed to mention the physiological compatability of opposite sexes. A male and female have a natural attachement to each other beyond natural attraction. This is why cohabitation between males and females is natural, albeit in a state of sin. This why a soldier at sea for months feels totally joined to his wife and her vice-versa. It’s a natural attachment, something homosexuality cannot provide. The natural mental make-up between the two sexes are different and have a natural yearning for each other. Homosexuality cannot have this because it is not natural. Getting more into biology, the sexes have more than a chemical attraction but also a chemical compatibility. I disagree with you when you said “It is not to say that gay people are incapable of loving each other in the same fashion as anyone else or that they cannot care for their partner and stay as committed as anyone else if not better.” A homosexual cannot love his “partner” like a a man or woman loves each other because that love is beyond physical attraction, it is also mentally stable and compatible and more reasons than we can explain. Remember, “What God has joined together, let no man separate” is more a mystery than you think. And staying “committed as anyone else if not better” is typical politically correct diatribe as there can be no real commitment if the there can be no real marriage.

    • Disgusted says

      How insulting to the gay community, that Feb. 13th RL post is ! I am NOT gay, but have gays in my family. I am at the point at which if I were to remain Catholic, I feel as though I could not look them in the face. There are scriptural quotes supporting slavery, too: thank God, we eventually saw beyond a strict interpretation of that! The Church’s tone towards gays is demeaning and insulting. It says it treats them with love and sensitivity when it does not. They are 2nd Class citizens (it’s almost as bad as the way the Church treats Single women!)

      The Church’s view towards heterosexual marriage is really about legitmizing sexual intercourse (which it really thinks is a sin, but is suddenly OK, after the priest says so, in the sacrament). I really do not believe that all other forms of sexuality are mortal sins. I don’t believe that Jesus would think so either, if he returned to Earth. It was a given that all Jews of his time would be married (even the Virgin Mary had to submit to that, for cultural reasons, yet still “remained a virgin”). So of course, Jesus– being a good Jew- -would go along with this. The point being, that the Church hates sex, but in order to produce offspring, must find a way to make it OK. I am so tired of the Church’s fixation and obsession with sex! What about other sins? What about its hiding sexual abuse for so long? What would happen if the church decided to forget about its sexual obsession, and concentrate, say, on gossip? No, it wouldn’t wash, because gossip is probably more harmful than any sexual sin, but isn’t a primal drive. Did anyone here ever see the film *The Magdalene Sisters* ? Based upon true events, the story tells in a nutshell what is wrong with the RC Church. It is obsessed with sex.

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