Little help please

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Victor 9 years ago.

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  • #1309

    Bernardine
    Member

    [color=green:354agkbb]Please help me. I have a friend who says he does not believe in God becasue he ruined his life and made him gay, this was his reply….

    “Being gay is really not a choice at all. I didn’t chose to be gay. Believe me when I say that I tried EVERYTHING to love women more than men. I consulted during 2 year a psychiatrist and spent over 800$ because I really wanted to be normal… but nothing could do it. I swear, it is really not my choice. Why would I chose to be gay? Homosexuality would not exist if being gay was a choice.”

    What would you say to him?? I know what the bible says but …I just don’t know how to talk to him about homsexulaity with compassion. Can anyone help? <img src=” title=”Sad” /> [/color:354agkbb]

    #6624

    [quote:27909u34][color=green:27909u34]Please help me. I have a friend who says he does not believe in God becasue he ruined his life and made him gay, this was his reply….

    “Being gay is really not a choice at all. I didn’t chose to be gay. Believe me when I say that I tried EVERYTHING to love women more than men. I consulted during 2 year a psychiatrist and spent over 800$ because I really wanted to be normal… but nothing could do it. I swear, it is really not my choice. Why would I chose to be gay? Homosexuality would not exist if being gay was a choice.”

    What would you say to him?? I know what the bible says but …I just don’t know how to talk to him about homsexulaity with compassion. Can anyone help? <img src=” title=”Sad” /> [/color:27909u34][/quote:27909u34]

    I would tell him that being gay may not be a “choice” of his, but it is a compulsion of a fetish, a form of a mental disorder. I would also try to explain that most psychiatrist do not understand this and will only push him deeper into this problem. [b:27909u34] I[/b:27909u34] would tell him about my own personal struggle with a similar type of problem and that I was able to over come it only after I took the step to realize it was not something that I was born with. Even though it really does feel that way to those who suffer from it.

    More than any thing else, I would tell him that I really love and care for him and that I am praying for him and he need not be alone with this struggle.

    #6625

    Victor
    Member

    [quote:10sr5v4e][quote:10sr5v4e][color=green:10sr5v4e]Please help me. I have a friend who says he does not believe in God becasue he ruined his life and made him gay, this was his reply….

    “Being gay is really not a choice at all. I didn’t chose to be gay. Believe me when I say that I tried EVERYTHING to love women more than men. I consulted during 2 year a psychiatrist and spent over 800$ because I really wanted to be normal… but nothing could do it. I swear, it is really not my choice. Why would I chose to be gay? Homosexuality would not exist if being gay was a choice.”

    What would you say to him?? I know what the bible says but …I just don’t know how to talk to him about homsexulaity with compassion. Can anyone help? <img src=” title=”Sad” /> [/color:10sr5v4e][/quote:10sr5v4e]

    I would tell him that being gay may not be a “choice” of his, but it is a compulsion of a fetish, a form of a mental disorder. I would also try to explain that most psychiatrist do not understand this and will only push him deeper into this problem. [b:10sr5v4e] I[/b:10sr5v4e] would tell him about my own personal struggle with a similar type of problem and that I was able to over come it only after I took the step to realize it was not something that I was born with. Even though it really does feel that way to those who suffer from it.

    More than any thing else, I would tell him that I really love and care for him and that I am praying for him and he need not be alone with this struggle.[/quote:10sr5v4e]
    [color=darkblue:10sr5v4e]
    I’ve never understood why Gay’s say they CAN’T CHOOSE. I mean, I understand they didn’t choose initially, but as grown and conscious adults; I think they can choose. What do you think?[/color:10sr5v4e]

    #6626

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    Victor, could you choose to start being attracted to other men?

    #6627

    Victor
    Member

    [quote:oitxgjkb]Victor, could you choose to start being attracted to other men?[/quote:oitxgjkb]

    [color=darkblue:oitxgjkb]If I am conditioned to do so, absolutely. It’s a matter of when, and how long you condition an individual. For most, it start very young in age. For very few, it can happen in later life.[/color:oitxgjkb]

    #6628

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    So all homosexuals are conditioned to be so?

    The question wasn’t about conditioning. You said you don’t understand why they can’t [b:170l96di]choose[/b:170l96di] to not be homosexual. I don’t think it’s as simple as a choice given a certain amount of conditioning or not.

    #6629

    I believe that it is not a conscience choice as to what one finds sexual stimulation from after a repeated pattern has been established. But once the pattern is no longer reinforced, then an oppertunity to change can be established.

    A quote I once read: “Nothing changes until the pain of [b:38lqv7dn]not[/b:38lqv7dn] changing is greater than the pain of changing.”

    I found that to be true in my situation. <img src=” title=”Smile” />

    #6640

    Bernardine
    Member

    Thanks for your help Ardent Listener, I appreciate it. <img src=” title=”Smile” />

    #6642

    Victor
    Member

    [quote:3mz2ysp9]So all homosexuals are conditioned to be so?

    The question wasn’t about conditioning. You said you don’t understand why they can’t [b:3mz2ysp9]choose[/b:3mz2ysp9] to not be homosexual. I don’t think it’s as simple as a choice given a certain amount of conditioning or not.[/quote:3mz2ysp9]

    [color=darkblue:3mz2ysp9]When I said [i:3mz2ysp9]choice[/i:3mz2ysp9], I meant it as a beginning of a process. I have no idea what the conditioning consists of but I have read several cases over at NARTH that have been sucessful. It’s truly an everyday choice.[/color:3mz2ysp9]

    #6643

    Victor
    Member

    [quote:c9ws6qth]I believe that it is not a conscience choice as to what one finds sexual stimulation from after a repeated pattern has been established. But once the pattern is no longer reinforced, then an oppertunity to change can be established.

    A quote I once read: “Nothing changes until the pain of [b:c9ws6qth]not[/b:c9ws6qth] changing is greater than the pain of changing.”

    I found that to be true in my situation. <img src=” title=”Smile” />[/quote:c9ws6qth]

    [color=darkblue:c9ws6qth]That makes sense and was helpful.[/color:c9ws6qth]

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