I never hugged or held my girlfriend’s hand to attract attention. It was all about her. I was giving attention to her.

[quote:2foeuqdf]Are you in highschool? You have no idea how shallow most people in highschool are.[/quote:2foeuqdf]
I was in high school 5 years ago and that’s exactly the time period in my life I was referring to. ” title=”Smile” />

[quote:1qzfyenp][quote:1qzfyenp]Are you in highschool? You have no idea how shallow most people in highschool are.[/quote:1qzfyenp]
I was in high school 5 years ago and that’s exactly the time period in my life I was referring to. ” title=”Smile” />[/quote:1qzfyenp]

Well then, I applaud you. But I still think most highschool relationships are incredibly worthless, most are based on shallow intentions, and practically none represent something positive. Of course there are exceptions–mayeb you were one–but I have not found any worth speaking of.

To clarify, I don’t think highschool relationships are INHERANTLY bad, I just think *most* highschool students absolutely butcher them, and what they are supposed to be.

[quote:10ezopea]To clarify, I don’t think highschool relationships are INHERANTLY bad, I just think *most* highschool students absolutely butcher them, and what they are supposed to be.[/quote:10ezopea]
But that’s part of the process of learning about relationships. There are no guides or manuals that can help someone perfect a relationship. People need practice. That’s why we are here – to guide those who need guidance.

I think high school relationships are very important in the development process of a person. But I also think that each young person should be able to have (an) adult(s) that he or she can talk with and hopefully model healthy relationships.

Then we should get rid of high school sports, music programs, youth ministry, etc. because it is unnecessary as well. I mean, those jocks all draw attention to themselves (especially the football and hockey players), band geeks all think they’re special because they belong to some exclusive club of instrument players and youth ministry just keeps kids busy – it doesn’t actually do anything.

Heck, why even let high school kids out of the house? They’re just going to mess everything up. But suddenly, when they are adults they’ll know exactly how to do everything right and make better decisions!

[quote:184xhr5u]Being sarcastic might be funny but the unavoidable truth is that MOST highschool kids have no idea what on earth a reltainship really entails.[/quote:184xhr5u]
That’s why I said earlier that ideally kids would have adults to help them in their relationships. If they don’t know in high school when will they know? Who is going to show them? How will they ever learn?

[quote:184xhr5u]In Highschool, there is no reason and they can be harmful AND they often take attanetion away from thigns that ARE important in higschool, such as one’s family and one’s studies.[/quote:184xhr5u]
“Can be” is the operative phrase here. Not all are. What do you mean by harmful? How are high school relationships harmful?

[quote:184xhr5u]Actually, sports games etc. are technically unnecessary, but they are enjoyable.[/quote:184xhr5u]
Sports are not done simply because they are enjoyable. That may be the perceived need a young person joining a sport, but often times they also receive unperceived nedds such as leadership skills and teamwork. Learning how to work with peers, maintaining good health, developing motor skills, etc. are all benefits of sports. Plus, for some young people sports becomes a career. Eventually many athletes become coaches and help instill these same values.

It’s not just enjoyable and it’s not meaningless. Beyond the surface there is much more.

Did you have a bad experience in a relationship one time?

[quote:2t5trgpc] I think highschool relationships are entirely unecessary, and, more often than not, harmful, and I have seen a ton of them. Neither of may parents had any major relationships in higschool, and they are now celebrating their 27 Anniversary. [/quote:2t5trgpc]

Well, my parents will be celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary this summer and they both had relationships in high school.

I have had several other people express opinions similar to yours. In their cases, they had a bad experience in highschool and were trying to dissuade others from doing what they did, a noble intention, but possibly not for the best. I am NOT saying this is what you are doing, but your explanations and options sound familiar to what I have heard.

No, we cannot let youth run rampant doing everything their “primordial animal drives” would let them. Not all high school relationships are about sex and being seductive. I can think of five couples in highschool I knew personally that did not have that mind-set. Those same people had supportive parents and friends to help guide them.

All things in moderation, I argue that many highschool relationships do have a purpose. High school relationships help to build up social skills, skills that help youth relate to those we love. They help youth to become better people for their marriages/vocations later on. However, a guideline would be that in any relationship, one should not do anything he or she would not want their future husband/wife to be doing with someone else.

Many youth go away for college, as a parent I would be nervous if my child had not had any relationships before leaving home, especially if he or she had interest in someday having relationships. I would not know if my child had the skills or felt comfortable coming to me or my spouse for guidance.

[quote:3uoo93nq]
Also, people should not have to “practice” relationships, as far as I’m concnerned. I believe there is one person out there that God has created for us to marry, and unless you think your current relationship could possibly be that person, it is pointless. [/quote:3uoo93nq]

GEEZ, I thought you were saying ALL high school relationships were bad, even the ones when you thought that the person is someone you might marry one day.

I quite agree with you that a person should not date just for the heck of it. Dating has a purpose…to find your future marriage partner. Even those relationships that do not turn out to be that future spouse were not a waste, especially if you had a chance to grow in faith and love of other human beings. In high school, I dated. I knew that when I dated a guy in high school it had to be because there was a chance that guy could be the one I someday marry or that the relationship would bring him and/or I closer to God and give us a deeper appreciation for other people in general. For instance, dating a person of another faith has caused many people to convert or become stronger in their faith. This kind of relationship cannot be called useless and harmful; I think you would agree.
Experiencing friendship and other relationships allow high school youth to learn to balance life’s challenges. The people in the relationships that have rough endings probably would be able to handle the breakups better if they could have this outlook from the start that God has a plan and maybe that previous relationship was for the purpose of growing and building up relationship skills and faith so as to become more Christlike for his or her future spouse.

I agree that when people date just for the social status or novelty it can and most likely would be harmful; this is not the kind of relationship “practice” that I was referring to in my previous posts. I think there was a miscommunication there. I am also sorry your friends and acquaintances had bad experiences. My prayers are with them.