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Thanks for sharing Ahnee. About health, I am so thankful when mine is good. I have nothing serious but the problems I do have frustrate me every single day. I try to ‘offer it up’ as prayer for others but most of the time its is just arrrrrrrgh!
It almost sounds like you are watching from the sidelines, not really knowing if you want anything to do with the game. I feel that we are all little lambs of the Shepherd and most of the time we want to strike out our own path and not follow the leader.
Just a thought Ahnee, you say you aren’t going to mass, why not try to go to church when it is empty, or is there a chapel near you? Sometimes I find so much comfort just sitting in the quiet and comforting presence of God with no one else to bother me.