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May 23, 2005 at 3:57 pm #4726AnonymousInactive
I have read all of your posts and I agree more with what Uncertaindrummer has been saying.
It’s been about 7 years since I graduated High School. I must say that during my time in school, I did not see many positive results come out from high school relationships either. Maybe it’s because most of the students did not have moral guidance from their guardians.
My parents did not allow me to have a relationship in high school. I was 18 when I had my very first date. ” title=”Very Happy” /> . And now that I think back, I’m glad I didn’t have a boyfriend in school. My friends were always crying and complaining about their relationships instead of focusing on school work. I believe high school students are too young to be “falling in love” and too young to be experimenting certain physical activities. At 18, I was a bit more mature than at 15 or even 16 and I’m glad my parents urged me to wait. I am now married, to the best guy ever, and do not regret not having a boyfriend in high school. I think the main problem is that the kids are missing guidance. And I’m glad that the person who started this post is smart enough to look for guidance on their own.May 23, 2005 at 4:27 pm #4727AnonymousInactive
Wonderful post there, and I definitely agree.
If I have to hear one more person tell me how all the stupid things they have been doing are because “I’m in love” I will die.
But also, the PRESSURE put on people in highschool to get a relationship is so out of control that even people who DON’T want them feel forced to, and that is a terrible thing,May 23, 2005 at 4:36 pm #4728
Different strokes for different folks. Some people can handle them, some people can’t.May 23, 2005 at 4:52 pm #4731AnonymousInactive
I’m embarrased to say that I didn’t know exactly what a relationship was all about until I met my wife.
~VictorMay 23, 2005 at 5:55 pm #4732AnonymousInactive
You’re right Uncertaindrummer…..
That is also true…pressure is so great in high school. Unfortunately the pressure is too strong sometimes. I don’t know about other states, but here in Southern California it’s terrible. It’s all about fitting in and doing what everybody else is doing.
To Jon: Thank God you were one of the mature ones. ” title=”Very Happy” />
You are right that some folks can handle it….but I think most can’t.
The reason I say this is because on my first day of high school I saw about 5 pregnant girls cross my path. GIRLS…not women. Every year, more pregnant girls. My younger sister, whom I thought was more prepared, became pregnant out of wedlock, at 18. And she is no longer with the father of her child. I asked her what happened. She said she always knew she would become pregnant because most of her friends in high school had already had a child. I was outraged. Being raised together with such different mentalities, her and I.
This is why I say MOST can’t handle it. I know too many girls who were left alone with babies to raise on their own.
Like I said before, most did not have the guidance….or like Uncertaindrummer said….the pressure took over.
Please know that I don’t think being in-love in high school is evil. It’s a wonderful part of growing if you know how to handle it, like Jon did. ” title=”Very Happy” />May 23, 2005 at 6:01 pm #4734AnonymousInactive
Victor, VERY FEW HIGHSCHOOLERS UNDERSTAND WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO BE. None of my friends understand what a relationship is. They think it is holding hands in public, whispering in the corner behind everyone’s back, and making out for as long as they can when parents are not around.
And even if you were to take the BIG problems out of early relationships (ealry pregnancies and such), they still do not accomplish anything unless you are ACTUALLY TRYING to determine if this person could be your spouse. And let me tell you something, %99 of people in highschool are not doing that.May 23, 2005 at 6:02 pm #4735
SoCal is a different climate than I grew up in. I grew up in Anchorage, AK which is quite similar to where I live now in Minnesota.
Teen pregnancy isn’t as big of an issue here and I think the culture is just different.May 23, 2005 at 6:20 pm #4737AnonymousInactive
[quote:1s4q2cn6]SoCal is a different climate than I grew up in. I grew up in Anchorage, AK which is quite similar to where I live now in Minnesota.
Teen pregnancy isn’t as big of an issue here and I think the culture is just different.[/quote:1s4q2cn6]
Culture: big issue.
My parents tell me about the small Mexican town they were raised in. You could not leave your house to go to the corner store unless your hair was nicely done, your clothes were ironed, and your shoes were shined. ” title=”Very Happy” /> Much worse if you were a pregnant female out of wedlock.
I’m just trying to say that because of your experience in AK and where you currently live, it may be a bit of a challenge to understand why some of us oppose the idea of romance for high school age kids.May 23, 2005 at 6:37 pm #4738AnonymousInactive
Ok well this is what we think. (My Girlfriend included) When we started this relationship it had been a while since any other, my last relationship was a middle school mistake… middleschool was way to early to even think about it, even through highschool I didnt have a relationship. Here I am in my last month of Grade 12 and now we are getting involved. I felt no pressure at all to go into this. We met eachother on the military base, and just started to hang out. After a couple weeks I asked her if she would go to my grad banquet with me. She agreed. We got to talking and we both agreed that it felt right to be together. We started dating. We both agree the relationship is about God and eachother, we arent doing this for show, attention, approval from friends, and we discussed school as being a priority for her. (as she is still in grade 11) I dont know, I think that we have both approached this from the right direction, and I think its heading places, Im already thinking about asking her to marry me in about a year and half. Thats how much I like to be with her.
Now perhaps relationships arent for everyone in highschool, and perhaps they are for some. My mother was engaged at 16 and married at 17!!! to my dad who is still with her today. Thats awesome! And if thats not a highschool relationship I dont know what is. But id hate to think if she didnt date him in highschool where or if I’d be. I believe that when it comes to relationships they are deemed as right or wrong by the direction approached, the reasons behind it, and the direction its headed. 2 people who love God, and love eachother, although perhaps younger, if they approach the relationship with wisdom, with councell from parrents ect, I believe that it has a good chance with working out.
The relationships that hurt are the ones that are forced, the ones that are started because of selfish wants, or when your not listenin to God concerning your relationship. An example for relationships is a flame. In order for there to be a flame, there has to be oxygen, fuel, and heat. In a relationship if you take out a key component… ie God, or you tamper with one of the elements, you can put the flame out. But as long as everything is set the way its supposed to, God will fuel your relationship if it is pleasing in his eyes. If you have approached the relationship with the right intentions and you have listened to the wise councell of others and if most importantly your honest with yourself. I believe firmly that God will honor that and you will be happy….
Sorry for the book post i just feel really passionate about all this…
SiberianMay 23, 2005 at 7:11 pm #4740AnonymousInactive
I applaud you Siberian. You are much more mature then I was in High School. I think you are entering the relationship with the right attitude. Including GOD is deffinately the way to go.
~VictorMay 23, 2005 at 7:29 pm #4741AnonymousInactive
Thank you… I can only hope things work out they have been. ” title=”Smile” />May 23, 2005 at 7:51 pm #4742AnonymousInactive
” title=”Very Happy” /> Siberian,
Your girlfriend is a lucky gal. You are the ideal high school sweetheart that a girl should look for. You are doing the right thing by putting God first. I thank God for young people like you and your girlfriend.
God Bless!May 23, 2005 at 7:53 pm #4743AnonymousInactive
Its really nice to know we are supported for sure. Thanks a lot guys.May 23, 2005 at 8:05 pm #4745AnonymousInactive
If every relationship was like yours, I would applaud them.
Unfortunately for me, they aren’t.
And I don’t actively LOOK for a relationship like yours because I do not even know of any girls who can look past how cute a guy is. It is depressing, but your story encourages me. At least SOME people can get it right, lolMay 23, 2005 at 8:30 pm #4747
well said, Siberian. Thank you for sharing that. ” title=”Smile” />May 26, 2005 at 2:00 am #4782
I think emesina is right about how the culture we grow up in has an effect on how we look at other cultures and their issues. I tend to look at things from my experiences. True, I did see some relationships in high school (and even college!) that resulted in nothing and were even harmful. However, my friends in high school (thus my experience) they were coming at it from the right perspective as Siberian is. Because this was my predominant experience, it hard for me to agree that most high school relationships are bad.
Yet, if I look past my experience, to other cultures, school districts, states, countries, etc., I would probably learn a lot and tend to agree, as I do already, that many youth could not handle it. In other words, my friends and I who had a lot of parent support in high school would have developed skills and perspectives that would lead to good, healthy, beneficial relationships, but other youth who did not have this support probably could not handle relationships unless they had great adult support elsewhere.
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