Reconciliation

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Joxios 3 years, 4 months ago.

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  • #2083

    leegal
    Member

    I am making ready for reconciliation. I contacted the parish where I was confirmed and explained that I needed a face to face appointment with a priest for a general confession at a time convenient for them. That parish did not call me back (it’s my mother’s parish and I do not live there now), so I called again and was told to go to the regular confession — not by a priest but by someone answering telephones. I think this is going to require too much of the 45 minutes allotted during the regular confession time which may have dozens of people waiting.

    I have researched 3 Churches in my area. In fact one, Catholic and Korean, does recommend and gives appointments for a private reconcilation, where I can have the priest guide me so that we cover what needs to be brought out.

    I honestly do not think I can make a regular confession because every day I come up with something I forgot, so you can guess at the seriousness of this reconciliation. I don’t feel that it would be a good confession if I leave afterward, only to remember dozens of things I forgot to mention or never thought of. A single reconcilation may take many weeks if I do this sin by sin, only to feel unresolved and unreconciled with all I have forgotten. But, if I make a general confession, the priest can guide me. I will not feel cleansed unless I am able to do this in a general confession that is going to take some time.

    There is one Church some distance away that does reconciliation all day on Saturday, not just 45 minutes. However, my mother tells me that there are many, many people lined up. I’ve never been there.

    Am I overthinking this? My mother said she never heard of this, but I know because I have done this in the past – a long time ago.

    #10185

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    I applaud you for taking it so seriously. Many people don’t even go, so it’s refreshing to read about someone who treats it with the respect that you have for it.

    I think if you feel the need for a confession as you described, then it would be important to schedule a private confession with a priest. If a particular parish or priest is unwilling to schedule an appointment then perhaps you should consider a different priest. The place where confession is held all day might be a grew place to start. To me it shows that they also take the sacrament very seriously and want to allow as much time as possible for people to use it. Perhaps you could show up before that one opens and get a good spot in line.

    Don’t be too scrupulous about making sure you name every single one of your sins. If you happen to forget one genuinely, know that God will still forgive you even if you do not have a chance to confess it.

    #10186

    leegal
    Member

    Thank you. My mother is been wanting me to go to go to reconciliation at the Church that has all day reconciliation on Saturday, rather than trying to find a parish here that will allow me to make an appointment since few parishes here seem to have the option.

    I was impressed that a Catholic Church here, though primarily of Korean Catholics, did have on their website that it is something that they have an option. I knew my request was not so unusual.

    I will, though, have to likely find another local Church for RCIA to see if I can attend classes.

    #10188

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    Are you looking to start RCIA this year or next year? You might have a hard time joining a group at this point if you want to do it this year, but some parishes will make exceptions depending on individual circumstances.

    #10189

    leegal
    Member

    I have an appointment with a priest coming up in two days. I told him why this was important and he agreed this would best be handled in a private appointment. I knew what I was seeking was not only possible, but necessary.

    I was raised R.C. and went all through Catholic school. But I want to find out about RCIA. I am Baptized, have received first Communion and was Confirmed. I got lost.

    Would I have a hard time joining if I am not a convert? Are there semesters like a beginning and an end? I received my R.I. all during school. I would sit in, if it’s allowed. I will find out what is permitted or will enter during the next session. Actually, since this has been a process for me I thought some instruction might be in order.

    Thank you.

    #10190

    LARobert
    Participant

    I’ll keep you in my prayers for a good confession.

    RICA is set up both for those who are condisering converting and those who have fallen away from the faith, and want a sort of refresher on the Faith. For those raised in the Faith there are other ways to accomplish this, depending on where you live, (I believe you are in NYC) various groups of people study the Faith in formal classes, and small study groups.

    You may also want to investigate these groups who have home study programs on the Faith.

    http://www.amm.org/chss/chss.asp

    http://free-catholic-course.excerptsofinri.com/

    #10191

    leegal
    Member

    Thank you for your prayers for my reconciliation.

    And thank you for the links; I have had opportunity to check one site so far. I believe these will be most helpful. I would not have found them on my own.

    Thank you and God Bless.

    #10192

    leegal
    Member

    Update. I have had my private meeting with the priest. I wanted to make a general confession, but it all came out.

    The priest said one thing that interested me. He told me that in receiving absolution, I should not confess these sins again. He sensed something.

    He then said, my problem was that it is not that I don’t believe God has forgiven me, but that I cannot forgive myself and now I must go home and pray to forgive myself.

    As to RCIA, I will have to wait until the next time it begins which may be next year. In the meantime, I thank LA Robert for the links. I’m sure I have enough to fill my time before those RCIA classes open up again and will order the courses in the meantime. I realize this is a path back and it will take time.

    Thank you so much all and God Bless. I will let you know my progress and will be returning.

    #10193

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    I’m so excited for you! I’m glad you were able to see a priest and receive reconciliation.

    Forgiveness of oneself can be very difficult, especially if one has been carrying the burden of a particular sin for a long time. You’ve taken a great step in the path of healing. I’ll be praying for you.

    #10195

    leegal
    Member

    Thank you Jon, and Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for your prayers.

    I have found this to be a most helpful and accepting forum.

    #10223

    leegal
    Member
    "LARobert":66a8y0q5 wrote:
    I’ll keep you in my prayers for a good confession.

    RICA is set up both for those who are condisering converting and those who have fallen away from the faith, and want a sort of refresher on the Faith. For those raised in the Faith there are other ways to accomplish this, depending on where you live, (I believe you are in NYC) various groups of people study the Faith in formal classes, and small study groups.

    You may also want to investigate these groups who have home study programs on the Faith.

    http://www.amm.org/chss/chss.asp

    http://free-catholic-course.excerptsofinri.com/[/quote:66a8y0q5]
    Just a follow up. I just received the first course material for one of the above. I chose to start up at home. I’m not sure that I’m eligible for RCIA, as I was raised and educated in the Catholic fairth, but in any case there isn’t one available in my parish at this time. It’s a tiny parish with only one priest who, of course, is the pastor. He’s all alone, except for a resident Brother.

    Thank you.

    #10229

    LARobert
    Participant

    Happy new year, and new birth of a life seeking faith and grace.

    There are people who have something called scruples, it’s sort of a spiritual Obsessive Compulsive Disease. We sometimes carry with us a feeling of guilt over things we’ve done in the past. But we need to remember when a priest absoves us from the sins we have confessed, and any we may have honestly forgotten they are forgiven in the Name of Christ, who authorized the priest to do so in His name. The Sacraments, while dispensed by priests are works of Christ. Jesus empowers the graces we recieve in the Sacraments, they are not done simply by the priest, but by the priest through Jesus’ very self.

    Having been baptized a Catholic or recieved into the Church at an earier date, one would not have to go through RCIA, but many parishes do offer it to those returning to the Church so they can understand and learn the Faith more fully. The course you have started will give you the same information, and may fit your schedule more easily.

    You remain in my poor prayers.

    #10311

    leegal
    Member

    Follow up. I do suffer from scrupulosity. I don’t look for sin, but if someone suggests a sin — then I begin to do too much self examination. I have sought advice from a Passionist retreat director, who knew right away that I suffered from OCD and scrupulosity. I don’t come up with these “sins” on my own — all someone has to do is post something and it sets me worrying.

    I saw somewhere else, posted by a Docent, that prayer for oneself without true love and devotion was bordering on superstition. I was making progress until I read that – I had to find a spiritual director to speak to because that sentence made me unable to pray for myself as I viewed myself as self-centered and that would border on the superstitious.

    As a cradle Catholic, this was one of the things that my grandmother drove into me and that was to not delve into things that were not “of God.” I was not praying for things — but a healing for my leg and being able to find another job. I could pray for others — but not myself after reading that statement on superstition.

    However, the spiritual director assured me that it was not superstition (to pray for oneself — a job, a healing for my leg), Docents can be wrong if the context was correct as I conveyed the post, and that not even priests “feel” it with every prayer and every time they pray.

    I have posted a prayer of Thankfulness for the help I have received here, so early on, that took me on a path back.

    I’m not perfect, but I find it much easier, understand more, and the answers do seem to come now that I am more open to hearing them. Since my leg was injured last fall (cane, brace — can’t do stairs too well), my pastor dispensed me from Mass — to just do what I can. I have decided to “make it” and I have been succeeding in being regular at Mass and confession. Now I will add Eucharistic Devotion for Lent.

    God Bless everyone.

    P.S. someone on that other site said my reconcilation was invalid which also sent me into a tailspin that I had to go back to see if a priest could lift an excommunication or I had to go seek out the Bishop. It suggested there are so many people out there who confess, and will find out that the confession was invalid eventually. You can imagine what that did to me. My fear is that I believe I’m doing right — and then someone or something plants a doubt. Like my confession was irregular and my prayer was invalid. It happens like that. Anyway, I’m assured that my confession was valid and the spiritual director suggested less reading of Apologetics when I find myself doubting what I’m doing — to take a break so as not to obsess.

    #10313

    Joxios
    Member
    "leegal":3fb3by06 wrote:
    I honestly do not think I can make a regular confession because every day I come up with something I forgot, so you can guess at the seriousness of this reconciliation. I don’t feel that it would be a good confession if I leave afterward, only to remember dozens of things I forgot to mention or never thought of. A single reconcilation may take many weeks if I do this sin by sin, only to feel unresolved and unreconciled with all I have forgotten. But, if I make a general confession, the priest can guide me. I will not feel cleansed unless I am able to do this in a general confession that is going to take some time.

    Am I overthinking this? My mother said she never heard of this, but I know because I have done this in the past – a long time ago.[/quote:3fb3by06]
    Hello legal,
    Paul points out seven deadly sins, [#7 is the Number of completeness] but there are 9.

    It was put to me like this, the devil tempts us with each of 7 sins 7x a day. that’s 49x a day.

    The more you dwell on sin the more likely you will. Going to confession is like telling on ourselves, the more we confess a sin, or the will to commit it strengthens us.

    The Law tells men what to do, but gave them no power to do it. It was given to reveal to man his sin, not to be his savior.

    In Christ and through His Church he has made us competent not by the letter of the law [the letter kills] but by the spirit which gives life [see 2Cor 3].

    Guilt is of God which lets us know we made a mistake, shame is of the devil, it says we are a mistake.

    Forget scrupulously! Get off what’s really bothering you! That’s what God wants you to take care of then.

    I’ve been so deep in sin, it was like a onion peel effect… I didn’t realize what I had done til others shared it aloud… and then I sat back going, oh yea I did that… and back to confession. The spirit only gives us what we can deal with for that day.

    I keep my eyes and ears open during the readings and the homilies @ Mass, and always reminded how foolish I have been, and how much more foolish I could have been without the Mass, Communion and confession.
    Christianity is two steps forward one step back.. we just have to keep striving forward!

    You’ll never shock or bore a priest @ Confession, but you both can share in the Joy of God’s forgiveness and absolution.

    God bless,
    John

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