Mixed marriage

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Stressed 3 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #2108

    Stressed
    Member

    Hello,

    I know that you have mentioned mixed marriage before but I am new here… And been worrying for a while about a particular thing I’m going through. ( Sorry for the long talk )…
    I have been with a guy for 3 years, and I love him more than anything in the world. A while ago he started mentioning marriage and having kids later on. I’m a devoted Catholic, he is a Protestant and not religious. Would it be a sin to marry him? And if we are to get married, can it be in his church but with the presence of a Catholic priest? would I be seen as truly married in the eyes of the Catholic church?
    He said he doesn’t want our kids to be brought up on a religion… What am i supposed to do? I would like them to be Catholics just like me. Would it be a sin to have children with a non believer?
    I never really thought about all of this before because I just loved him for who he are. He is a lovely man and treats me very well. But when he said all of this I got so worried. What am I supposed to do… I live in a place where it is very hard to open up to a catholic priest or tell him my concerns and get real answers. Should I leave him? I find this so hard to do… Because when we met I always felt that it was God who made up meet. His presence in my life has helped me a lot especially since I was going through hard times. But when it comes to God he just doesn’t get it.

    Please help me…. And please let your answers be based on real things and not just your own thoughts..

    Thank you again.

    #10348

    LARobert
    Participant

    Welcome

    In order for you to have a marriage with this man that is recognized by the Catholic Church, you must approach your parish priest, who will speak to both of you, and explain to your boyfriend your obligations as a Catholic, and the reason why the Church feels these issues are important. Your boyfriend can also ask the priest any questions he wants about the Catholic Church. To be married to him, and in his Church, (which seems a bit odd if he is not really religious) the priest will request an indult, or special permission from the local bishop, explaning why you are seeking this permission.

    Even if your boyfriend still wants to marry in his denomination, with a Catholic priest present to wittness the ceremony for the Church, at the very least it will be an opportunity for you to reveiw what your obligations to God are as a Catholic, and may expose him to the teachings of the Catholic Church. Many people dislike what they think the Catholic Church teaches, and not what the Church really teaches. So do approach your parish priest, and see what can be done.

    #10351

    Stressed
    Member

    Thank you for your reply. Yes I am aware that many people have a wrong idea about what Catholicism is really about. And my boyfriend is one of those people. I have tried before to show him but he was never interested… I do keep pray that one day he will change not just for me but for him to be saved. He tend to mock my believes sometimes, not in a strong way but still… It makes me wonder if I will be able to cope with it later on, or if it will affect our relationship with time.

    He wants it in his church because his parents would want us to get married there.
    We are currently living in two different countries so for now it is hard for us to meet up with my parish priest.
    Although I do love him a lot I am starting to have doubts that it will be enough for us to make it as a married couple. I’m praying a lot that God will show me what is the right thing to do.

    Thank you again for your reply it helped a lot.
    God bless you and have a lovely weekend

    #10352

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    What about your parents? Have they expressed any desire for a specific church?

    #10353

    Stressed
    Member

    I come from a very devoted Catholic family. I haven’t talked to them yet about his plan.

    #10354

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    If religion is important to you, but not to him, why would he insist that you marry in his church? Just something to consider in this discussion.

    I would imagine that a marriage in which one spouse mocks, even lightly, the other person’s belief is not strong marriage for either person. Interfaith marriages can work, but only if each side has respect for the other. I don’t know that I could be in a long-term relationship with someone if they mocked my beliefs.

    #10367

    Stressed
    Member

    Hello,

    Sorry for my late reply but I had to stay away from everything and just really consider things. I ended up breaking up with him. And although it hurts so much I think i did the right thing because I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the pressure especially since that he was against me bringing up our kids as Christians. I also realised that he wanted everything to go his way, and the way I see it, this is not real love.

    To answer your question, he wanted to marry in his church because of his parents.

    Thank you for your answer and God bless you

    #10368

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    Thanks for the update. I’ll pray for your healing from the pain of your breakup. God Bless.

    #10374

    Stressed
    Member

    Jon, he is in a coma now, I wrote a post to ask other to pray for him with me..
    What if he never wakes up.. He wasn’t religious.. How will God give him an other chance
    Im feeling so hopeless.. I want him to wake up, and to get on with life ocne again. We haven’t spoke since we broke up and this is also killing me. I should have tried to make him see things the way us Catholics do but I failed

    #10375

    LARobert
    Participant

    As Catholics we trust in God’s grace and mercy. Those who were not raised in the Faith, have many times been prejudiced against what they have been told Catholics believe. The Catholic Church teaches, that for those who have been prejudiced against the truths Jesus gave the Catholic Church to preach to the ends of the earth, God will judge them based on what they knew and understood of Him. So if someone did not have the Chance to come to know God and the truths of His Church, we still remain hopeful that they too will be happy with God for all eternity. We have no way of being able to see the state of someone’s soul.

    As Catholics we do not believe that all teachings contrary to the revealed truths Christ gave the Apostles are equal to those we hold, we do believe that the graces God gives to the world come to those who are not Catholic through His Church the excess Merits of Christ and the Saints can be recieved by non-Catholics too, out of our Lord’s love and desire for their salvation too. Because of this understanding of God’s love an mercy for all of us sinners, we can and must pray for people like your ex-boyfriend that he on some level is sorry for any offences he made against God during his lifetime, and that he cooperated with God’s graces to the best of his ability and understanding. While we pray for the recovery of his bodily health, we also pray for his spiritual health.

    #10378

    Stressed
    Member

    Thank you for your reply, it gives comfort in a way.
    Sadly I just heard today that he is not responding and the prognosis is not good. This doesn’t sound promising at all.

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