Liturgical Olympics?

A friend forwarded this to me in an e-mail. Enjoy. ” title=”Wink” />
btw – I think the part about Americans is so true.

[quote:1el529zd]ATHENS, Greece — As construction crews prepare the ground for the 2004 Olympics, the International Olympic Committee is putting finishing touches on a new set of games for this Orthodox city: Liturgical Olympics.

Here are some of the top sports:

Russians are the favorites in the Censer Swing, a gymnastic sport of timing and grace, in which priests and deacons compete to make the most intricate formations with the smoke and movement of the censer. Points off for setting vestments on fire.

Georgians and Bulgarians are expected to be top competitors in the Long Note: a track and field event to see who can hold a note the longest. There are individual, team and relay heats. Points off for flatting.

Greeks are taking top odds in Speed Liturgy, another track and field event, in which priest, deacon and choir compete for the speediest liturgy. Judges will be listening carefully to see if anything is left out.

It’s an open field in Altar Boy Synchronization, in which teams of altar servers move in synchronized motion with candles, icons, fans and censers. Nike and Adidas are in a bidding war over who will provide team shoes.

Americans are expected to be major contenders in Canon Tossing and the heavier-weight Anathema Hurling. There will be individual, team and relay heats in this event as well, with points off for players hitting their own teams and fans.

Other events will include Bishop Vesting, High Note, Low Note and Countertenor, and Distance Sprinkling.

Excitement is building as Orthodox Olympians around the world prepare for these events.

This report was filed by Onion Dome rambling reporter Jan Bear [/quote:1el529zd]