Is spanking your kids ok?

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Victor 10 years ago.

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  • #1008

    Victor
    Member

    I really want to get everybodys thoughts on this one. I seem to be alone in this topic with my relatvies. I believe it is ok spank kids. I will elaborate more once I get some thoughts.

    ~Victor

    #4047

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    I say yes because there are certain situations which warrant spanking. Like if a child darts out into the street you might want to give a firm pat on the butt and say no, then explain why. I [b:vopc8nh9]don’t[/b:vopc8nh9] think that spanking should be used when someone is very angry with their child. It should never be used in a violent way.

    #4115

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    I am in a child abuse intervention and prevention class right now. I have seen some pictures of children “spanked” with metal pipes, large sticks, extension cords, etc. I think the question of whether spanking is ok or not is really fuzzy. There is not just a yes or no answer. I definitely do not believe in spanking children with anything other than an open hand and definitely not in anger. I believe parents and guardians have to watch their emotions closely. Many of the instances of abuse were cases where the parent thought they never would do such things, but they were angry and their emotions got the best of them.

    So to make a long story short, I cannot vote simply yes or no; it is a matter of circumstance: age of the child, force used, what is used for spanking, what the child has done, etc. I would use it only for rare occasions, but that is my opinion.

    PS. It really does not make sense for parent to spank after their child has hit, bit, pinched, etc. another child.

    #4137

    emesina
    Member

    Although I hate the thought of having to spank my child for disciplinary purposes, I would have to agree that sometimes it’s the best way to get the result you are looking for. But as others have stated, it would be my last resort.

    Evelyn.

    #4297

    PEZ
    Member

    I dont have any kids, so I’m speaking from the outside here. But, I have to say that being spanked when when I was a kid helped me to rethink my actions. It helped set me straight, and yeah it hurt but afterwards (like after I was done crying :oops: ) I’d always get a treat from my parents and a little explanation. Kids need to know that there are consequences for their actions, otherwise when they grow up they’ll most likely learn the hard way.

    #4311

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    I am taking a parent-child course for my degree this semester. I am a big fan of natural and logical consequences. That means that the “punishment fits the crime” so if a child colors on the wall, he or she must clean the wall and maybe all the other walls in the room depending on age, etc. I know it does not work for all misbehavior, but for the incidents that it does work for, I would use the natural/logical consequeces for punishment.

    #4663

    Siberian
    Member

    I believe that children should be spanked as well. In certain circumstance when it permits of course, but it is a renound way to diciplin a young one. I had the privilage of hunting with my father and we were observing some deer on the side of the road, i watched as a young fawn tried to cross the road.. the mother immediatly ran out and blocked the path smashing her head into the side of the deer. I got to thinking that even animals have a sense of diciplin. Back to humans, I think that if you spank your child you should afterwards show love and explain why you did, and always be sure to tell them that you love them. If they think they are merely being hit they begin to get a built up resentment for that parrent, which often leads to much worse parrent/child relationships causing more stress and perhaps harder spankings. It can be a brutal spiral once it gets out of controll.

    In easyer terms, we need to be carefull that when we spank, it is under complete controll, that the punishment fits the crime. (As stated above, spanking should not be used to punish an act of violence) And to be sure that they know you love them.

    Just my thoughts…
    Siberian

    #4666

    Only in the most extreme circumstances, and only when there is really nothing else to do. For instance, if your kid tries to run into an elevator all alone, the only real way you can make that experience so bad that he’ll never do it again is to spank. But if you are at home and he is just not LISTENING, take away some cars or a football or something.

    I definitely don’t think you should continue spanking children once they are old enough to REALLY remember it, though.

    #5242

    fr33k
    Member

    what can a child possibly do that is so bad that he deserves physical action taken against him? Surely any child is capable of reasoning and understanding simply by explaining what he has done wrong. Should this child come to the conclusion in any situation that someone should be physically hit because of their actions? No. The child should come to the conclusion that wrong doing even VIOLENT wrong doing will be answered by God. I was hit and occasionaly beaten as a child, and it instilled fear of man within me. It took a strong mind, a long time, and the help of God to realise that I should FEAR NO MAN on this earth. But what of those who do not work this out, but according to how they were treated, carry out physical punishment upon those who they believe have done wrong? i will also mention that i bullied people possibly due to my beatings, and I did not see a problem with hitting my piers (looking back, almost as a sign of effection). Ration, don’t Hit. Peace

    #5246

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    Most young people have not developed the ability to reason certain things in their minds. A firm pat on the butt with a clear no (no violent hitting in anger) can be used to positively reinforce that running out into the street blindly is bad, or touching a hot stove is dangerous, etc.

    Spanking is not always violent. I am sorry to hear about your past. <img src=” title=”Sad” />

    #5251

    fr33k
    Member

    I don’t think that God will ever put me in the position whereby I will need to Hit my child. If my child dos not yet understand the dangers of traffic, i will be holding his hand when i’m walking along the street with him. Peace

    #5256

    Victor
    Member

    Those are sure signs that you be a good parent. <img src=” title=”Wink” />
    Although I know first hand that kids get into all sorts of things. Sometimes they just slip away and are curious about things.

    ~Victor

    #5284

    fr33k
    Member

    I think adults ‘slip away’ into a lot more punishable deeds than any deed I can think a kid could. I will never be pushed to hit my child. This is an act of anger. From the little D. Peace.

    #5287

    Victor
    Member

    As Jon said [i:37f0ra01](no violent hitting in anger)[/i:37f0ra01]. We agree with you on that.

    ~Victor

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