How to handle my brother?

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This topic contains 14 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Victor 10 years ago.

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  • #1044

    Victor
    Member

    For those of you that don’t know I have a brother who is deep into gangs. I struggle on how to handle him. There is no dad in the picture for either of us and he decided to follow my cousins footsteps who are also in gangs. At first I was real hard on him and at times he would want to fight me because I was “limiting his freedoms” as he put it. But now I just let go and try to be there for him. This has really improved our relationship significantly. This is by no means easy for me because I have to bite my tongue when I’m with him. He tells me everything he does. <img src=” title=”Sad” /> I just sigh but I don’t get tuff on him like I used to.

    How would you handle it?

    Please pray for me and him. Pray that I may have the patience and wisdom in handling him and that he may have a change of heart.

    #4391

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    Good question. I guess since he is your brother he won’t shoot you if you reproach him. Be gentle. Pray. <img src=” title=”Smile” />

    #4400

    Icequeen
    Member

    Victor, you are definitely in my prayers. I think that prayer is the best defense for now. Your brother has to come to the decision to leave the gang lifestyle on his own. The more you tell him that it is wrong or bad, the more he will want to stay with it. Just being there for him, telling him that you love him, no matter what, is best. He knows that you don’t approve of his lifestyle, so don’t hammer it in. God will take care of him, just be ready for when God decides to smack him ‘up side the head.’

    #4401

    Victor
    Member

    Thank you both. Prayer is best. It’s just when your in the moment and emotions are filling me I don’t always think “leave it to God now”. <img src=” title=”Sad” />
    I should do that though.

    Thanks again

    ~Victor

    #4404

    Elkabong
    Member

    Victor, just remember, some of us have to really pull the Prodigal Son bit with fervor and intensity before coming to our senses. I have personally been involved with drugs, white separatist movement, and paganism (as in pagan practice, not just standard run of the mill pagan yahoo). If God can deal with me, he can deal with your brother.

    Letting go and Letting God, although a platitude, is true. It is also one of the hardest disciplines to develop…

    Prayers for you, too, brother.

    #4450

    Icequeen
    Member

    [quote:37ybktch] It’s just when your in the moment and emotions are filling me I don’t always think “leave it to God now”. [/quote:37ybktch]

    Yes, it goes in the category ‘easier said than done.’ I will continue to pray for you, that God grants you the grace of lots of patience. Have you tried to find a group that works to get people out of gangs?

    #4504

    Lucinda
    Member

    I used tough love on my brother when it came to him being in a gang
    i turned him into the the law.. Yes he got locked up.. But he later told
    me being locked up might have saved his life.. My heart and prayers
    go out to you Victor.

    God Bless

    #4512

    Victor
    Member

    This is my brothers 6th time getting locked up. He is 19 years old right now. I don’t think he’s getting the point. Prayer is best at this point.

    ~Victor

    #4606

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    How old was he when he first got into the gang?

    #4616

    Victor
    Member

    Either 14 or 15. Not quite sure.

    ~Victor

    #4626

    Andres Ortiz
    Keymaster

    so he’s been to jail at least once a year for the last few years?

    #4627

    Victor
    Member

    Yup…..the least time he got was 3 months, the most was 1 1/2.

    ~Victor

    #5075

    Victor
    Member

    Request to continue your prayers for my brother. He called me from outside of San Francisco. Frustrated and scared, wouldn’t tell me why and he just hung up on me because I couldn’t come and pick him up. I tried explaining to him that even if I could pick him up that he is 450 miles away. Left me wondering and concerned.

    ~Victor

    #5084

    Elkabong
    Member

    That’s all, just wanted you to know.

    #5103

    Victor
    Member

    Thank you so much Elka.

    ~Victor

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