Cohabitation and Marriage

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    I NEED HELP.. <img src=” title=”Sad” /> I would like to know what exactly the church believes about cohabitation and marriage in the Catholic Church. My fiance and I just went to talk to a priest about getting starting in our premarital classes and we were told that there is absolutely no way to get married in the church if we are living together. If we would get married it would be simple marriage and only immediate family is allowed. Is there really NO way that we can get married if we are living together.


    Andres Ortiz

    The Church does not support cohabitation and neither do the statistics. While the Church will not recommend cohabitation you can still get married in the Catholic Church. However, some priests will refuse to do a wedding for a cohabiting couple.

    You are strongly encouraged to live apart for a while before you get married. I don’t remember the exact numbers but most couples that cohabitate before they are married get divorced.

    Please don’t let that happen to you. <img src=” title=”Sad” />



    Thank you for your reply. I am really kind of upset with the way it is being handled though. I told my fiance that I was not planning on living with him. My roommate and I did not get along at all and there was no other option for me because I couldn’t get out of my lease, but i couldn’t live with her. The priest didn’t even care to listen to the situation. We live with 4 other people not including us. Is it still not acceptable even through my situation?


    Andres Ortiz

    Sorry, what I know is what I already wrote. You’ll have to weigh your decision with your conscience and much prayer.

    I commend you for seeking an answer from your faith. <img src=” title=”Smile” />



    [quote:jmu68pb3]Is it still not acceptable even through my situation?[/quote:jmu68pb3]

    Christi –

    We Catholics know that marriage is more than a legal document or a romantic interlude – that marriage is a sacremental. Assuming that you are a practicing Catholic, you know that you cannot partake of the Eucharist when in a state of mortal sin – you were taught this as a child and understand how serious it is.

    When the Priest is asked to prepare a couple for the sacrement of marriage, he wants to be certain that the couple understands how serious this sacrament is.

    As Catholic Christians, we are required not only to avoid sin, but to avoid the “near occasion to sin”. The Church tells us that running on the wet muddy riverbank is not a smart thing to do <img src=” title=”Smile” /> When you are young and in love, having the love-of-your-life in a bedroom just down the hall COULD be a real temptation.

    We are also called to avoid “scandal”. Scandal is something that some consider old-fashioned and out dated because we have been influenced by the culture to think that as long as you don’t hurt anyone else, what you do is your own business and what someone else thinks of you really does not matter. The Church knows that we are part of a the Body of Christ – and says that each of us is a living example of Christ, we are His ambassadors to the world and to each other. With such an important responsibility, how things “look’ does matter. So, even if you and your boyfriend are living together in the same house and have never ever ever sinned by having sex outside of marriage – there could be a young girl at Church who is thinking about moving in with her boyfriend, and she looks up to you – she thinks that it must be okay for Catholic Christians to live together without being married because she saw you doing it. Without ever intending it, you could lead that person into a sin!

    As someone who was young, not that many years ago – let me ask you a question. If the doctor found a mysterious allergy and said that your finacee would die if you lived under the same roof – there was a vaccine, but, it would not be available for one year – would you find a way to make the finances work out? Sure you would – if you had to sleep on a friend’s couch or move back in with your parents, you would find a way to live separately for a year.

    By finding a way to live apart now, you have the power to enter into a sacramental marriage and just think of all the blessings that flow from such a union!

    Pray – pray the rosary every day – ask our Mother to give you the strentgh to make the right choice.

    Peace – Kage

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