I sorta know what your going thru I was raised a Protestant for 23 years until I married my wife(who is a devout Catholic) in 1959 and we went to mass every Sunday and I could not under stand what they were saying(cause then it was all in Latin)but I knew I found the TRUE church that God made and I felt comfortable there.I don’t know what religion you are but sometime go to a Catholic mass and enjoy the great feeling of being with God.