It is interesting to me as a Protestant believer that Joanlee cannot be a bridesmaid. I’m aware that the Catholic faith requires the bride to be reviewed and perhaps dispensed (what an awful term, though it is a required term) but I am unaware of how the Catholic Church justifies the bridesmaid not being involved.
I think that most Protestants would feel inclined to respond in similar matter to the suggestions of Benedict. In fact, for the Anabaptists following a more ascetic model (very close to Catholicism) the nature of a marriage that is not equally sharing in the kingdom could have consequences.
Today is a different matter (as opposed to the Reformation period). Now the bride could find it very difficult to understand the rationalizing of Joanlee not supporting her even if she doesn’t support her decision to marry this man.
I’m curious how the Catholic authorities deal with this situation in our present cultural context, and perhaps that is what Benedict was getting at (asking where the wedding was taking place). Still, does context define the application of your practice (concerning baptized believer marrying an un-baptized believer) in the Catholic Church today?