Sonlitknight, our prayers are with you concerning persons in your life so afflicted. I certainly can identify because I also have witnessed the destructive behaviours of others I really care about—-I am hard put to aid them because of their overwhelming situations. I have mentioned before- if somehow they really felt God’s love things might be different. I believe that we really are the ‘hands’ ‘loving arms’ and ‘moving feet’ of Christ now that He is in Heaven. At times it is hard to know how God would have us help-especially when the person repeatedly does things that seperates them from their loving Father in Heaven.
At times I have(in prayer) just wrapped that person up in a bundle, and placed him/her at the foot of the cross
handing everything over to God.
Glad you came to the forum with this, hope we are of some help. 
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